Closet warrior

Shag carpet hugged the floor beneath me, and a weave of wire and mattress hovered just a couple of inches from my nose. Bathed in the coolness of shadows, I daydreamed.

Brave warrior-child that I was, I never feared The Monster Under The Bed. The space beneath my bed was instead a sanctuary—a place to curl up with a flashlight and a book and enjoy the quiet. Even when not seeking solace underneath my bed, I have always sought peace and privacy. I began closing my bedroom door as a young girl—not to get away from anything or anyone, but just to snatch a few moments for myself.

When I meet new people, I have to fight my internal urge to not close myself off entirely. I know that when most people meet me, they think I am shy. And, well, they’re right—at least sort of.

But deep within me is the soul of a daring adventurer.

No, really. I mean it. No joke.

I am thrilled by the idea of journeying to a faraway land, living in the most primitive of conditions and dining on the most exotic of foods. I find images of backpacking through the wilderness or adjusting to a foreign city’s culture positively electrifying. But do I have what it takes? Is this the place where God is calling me?

The time has come, yet again, to apply for Summer Missions 2008. Tomorrow, my application folder must be signed, stamped, sealed and sent off. Interviews are in two weeks. I’ll be notified where I’m going about a week after that. Imagine that, in the space of three short weeks, I’ll know where God is sending me this summer. Am I ready for this? Well, no. Not even close.

Thank God it simply is not about me or my readiness—it is about Him and His plan. And He won’t be ‘sending’ me anywhere, it will be an adventure we will traverse together. Whether I find myself stateside, across the globe, in a remote town or urban city, He’ll be holding my hand.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[a] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:18-20