Fear not?

I gripped a flashlight in one hand and a net in the other as I tiptoed along the waterline, my eyes scanning the water for the slightest movement. My best friend’s laughter rose up behind me and I spun around just in time to see her race across the dunes in hot pursuit. She scooped up the scuttling creature in one motion and then bolted toward me to show off her prize. With narrowed eyes, I scrutinized the sand crab and shuddered.

That night, as we prowled the sands beneath an ebony sky, I tried with all my might to capture one of the offending beasts myself. Each time I spotted one, I sprinted toward it with my net waving in front of me like a flag. As I neared it, though, fear always caught in my throat, sending me bolting for safety.

I was twelve then, and now nineteen—but even seven years later, I find that bravery still often eludes me in the simplest of circumstances. My fears have stretched beyond sand crabs, but for certain, they still exist and still have the power to keep me locked up within my own shell.

It is because of my own fears and reservations that even I am still surprised when I look back at the events of this incredible summer. I spent ten weeks in the mountains of East Tennessee doing home repair as a summer missionary for Appalachian Outreach, a poverty-relief organization. I went because I felt the call of God on my heart, and I came home forever changed.

Christians talk a lot about “getting out of their comfort zones,” a phrase that, as it sounds, simply means escaping the realm of activity where one feels most safe and well, comfortable. We all have them. As this summer began and I learned the details of my new job, my own comfort zone soon became a distant memory.

Appalachian Outreach, which most fondly refer to as AO, offers countless ministries to the impoverished of the area. A food pantry, clothing closet and homeless shelter are just a few of the ways that AO reaches out to the community. I, however, was one of the missionaries assigned to lead teams in doing week long home repair projects.

My fears came alive during my very first week, as I found myself clambering up a ladder and climbing onto a roof. Frozen by my terror, I clung to the ridge cap and gingerly slid shingles down to my fellow missionaries. As I sat there feeling useless, my mind filled with questions and doubts.

I asked God why.

And then I asked Him again. And again.

I knew, and I know, that He could have easily filled my position with someone else, okay, anyone else that could have outworked me. I had never used a power tool in my life. I didn’t know the difference between a drywall screw and a decking screw. I couldn’t hammer for the life of me. I was scared out of my mind.

The result? The most difficult, life-changing, and incredible summer of my life.

I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I do know Someone who does. In this blog, which I will write in every Sunday for The Chanticleer, I want to take you along on my journey of faith in God. I intend to hold nothing back, and I ask the same of anyone reading this. Any feedback is more than welcome.

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name: you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."

Isaiah 42: 1b-3a